You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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