I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
