was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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