You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the day after is always just damage control
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
