I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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