Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
