just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
well you can't waste a boner
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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