I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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