margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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