So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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