He uses pillows to masturbate.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
