brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
