Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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