i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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