I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
