Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
