Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
