Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize