maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
there is glitter all over my balls
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
