I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
