I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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