I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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