Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
