Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
