Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
