in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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