My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
