Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
