Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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