thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
