Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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