shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
