i don't plan on having that self control this summer
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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