Got a toothbrush?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Two words: nipple clamps
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