I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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