Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
