At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
