dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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