Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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