those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
