Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
