My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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