six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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