That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize