you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
