so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
