im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
