It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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