I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
