In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
