I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
