doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
