I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
