That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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