we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
