good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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