Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
