We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Come see our sink grown plant.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
