Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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