2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
