omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
