Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
