i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
