whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
