i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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