I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
