Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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