The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
